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Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Where be the boy?

August 8th, 2008 (09:37 pm)

current mood: confused

Rumours be abound that the cabin boy is dead. Not sure to believe in wot the crew be saying. They'd say he wos dead then go through his stuff looking for things to sell in Tortuga.

Bunch of thieving, grave robbing scum of the sea.

Having said that, if he IS dead I'm having the string from his hammock because it's better than mine.

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Yarr harr.

August 8th, 2008 (12:30 am)

Arrrr!!! *breathe* ARRRRR!!!

We appear to 'ave drifted far off course from wot when we last spoke. I spent several months locked inside a small chest on the deck after troying to scrape the last o' the beef from teh last o' the barrels on the deck. Plunderin' lid fell right on top of me and locked me arse in it. For several months all that I had to live on was the liquid from the fresh salty air, running down the barnacle encrusted wood of the inside! Ye be right in thinkin' that oi be a changed man. Moi beard is black. There's soot in my... beard and it looks loike Horace has taken it upon himself to be captain. Sure, he pretended to be happy to see my sorry arse again, but deep down I can tell he just wanted to keep the hat on one more time. The bilge pumping idiot has made it stink of old ships biscuits and rotten fish.

Horace is a dead man if I catch him doing bad things behind my back again.

The cabin boy is missing and hasn't been seen for nigh on seven months. On a ship. In the middle of the ocean. I shall investigate.

Yer favourite anything-but-landlocked captain, Paprika Teeth, signing off.

Shiver me timbers and all that.

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Ye can't keep a good pirate down.

June 19th, 2006 (07:05 am)

current mood: chipper

Arr, it's been many moons since last we spoke. The crew is down to a small collection as leave has been taken. Ye be right for thinkin' I be a busy pirate. Why, not last week but me shipmates started a fire in Horace's kitchen as a prank and only after it got within a measure of the powder magazine did we manage to stop it. Arrrr... lost rum and loot over that and much floggin' happened.

Pirates baint the smartest land mammals...

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]


October 8th, 2005 (06:42 pm)

current mood: jubilant

Yarrr, it be a while since I last be writin' in this here journal but I be pleased to announce that we found ourselves a port. Arr, it was a thrillin' site to see. Places to eat! Food that weren't salty beef and biscuits!

We stocked up on fruit, rum, tobacco and cannonballs and other assorted items of food. We got a good price for what was left of the beef though.

Cannonballs we be needin' for when we go a plunderin' of Spanish vessels!!


Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Easy like Sunday mornin'

September 25th, 2005 (08:53 am)

current mood: optimistic

Arrr, the sun and crew be telllin' me it be Sunday mornin'. I feel it to be a good day. Mayhap we find a port today.

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

We be pinin' for new food.

September 23rd, 2005 (07:31 pm)

current mood: gloomy

It be a windy night on board me ship. Havin' made the best of our rations, we be down to the last week or so of salt beef and biscuits. Morale is low, Horace the cook is despairin'. We've changed course again so maybe this time, we be havin' luck in findin' a new port. Arrrr...

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Saucy business.

September 21st, 2005 (10:11 pm)

current mood: frustrated

Praise be, yaharr!! I found me a lost bottle floatin' on the sea. Seems to be a bottle of spiced pepper sauce. Would do me heart good to taste something that ain't just plain ol' salt beef. Yaharr, only problem is that neither me o' the crew can open it. Been tryin' for the past HOUR to open it, neither me, Horace or the wretched little imp of a cabin boy can even begin to get anywhere. Me first mate, Jones, suggested smashin' it on the hull of the boat.

He be not a smart lad.

And I still be hungry.

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

Too much salt will keelhaul ya.

September 21st, 2005 (01:45 pm)

current mood: hungry

Arrr, Horace has fixed us some salt beef, some biscuit sandwiches, some sea water and something that looks like it's been scraped from the side o' the hull. It looks like something I swabbed from the deck this mornin'. Hmm... Horace took me job after a few minutes...

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]

OOhh arrrr.

September 21st, 2005 (07:47 am)
current mood: creative
current song: Snow White - Whistle While You Work

Woke up this morning, crew still asleep. Swabbed the deck myself. Lazy buggers.

Captain Paprika Teeth [userpic]


September 20th, 2005 (11:37 pm)

current mood: hungry

Arrr. Also lookin' for a good and ingenious new way to combine biscuits and beef.

Sea water only go so far.

On the other hook, we ain't go so much of a problem with dirt no more. Yarr, forced walkin' o' the plank every Sunday morning for half an hour seems to get rid of the rancid stench in most of the beggars. Salt beef gets stuck in the teeth and clothin', y'see and it sticks sumthin orrible when it gets wet and rotten. Tis a sight that Horace will never want to see again.

And hopefully, by the end of this voyage, Horace will never have to see salt beef again.